Losing My Edge

If you don't wanna read depressing and paranoid stuff (the pink stuff) that I'm probably going to end up wondering about ("why the heck did I post this") later, scroll from this part to the next green part.

You know at some point in your life you suddenly find your calling? Something you know you're good at? Something you're destined to do? All my life I always thought that writing was going to be a very major part of my life. And for some reason, I'm losing confidence in that niche.

I don't think the Commonwealth Essay has anything to do with it, or at least not directly. Not being selected is not important. I never liked Class C anyway; I'm looking forward to being able to start on Class B. Ahaha.

Somehow it got me worried. I mean, what would one do if there was something she thought she was good at, and then she found out that wasn't true?

Obviously they'd be sad. But I've been writing for almost all my life. If that was taken away goodness knows what would happen to me. Ever since I was young I placed being somewhat "superior" or "special", as in, standing out of the crowd just a little, in top priority. My dream was to get a prize on Founder's Day. It still is. When I found that something I was good at, I was so happy. Every time my teacher read out my composition or printed it for everyone to see, or selected it for a competition, my heart would leap inside. I know one should be happy when they get credit for something, but it seems that I've had an overbearing sense of pride.

It's not like this has happened already. But...

Ah ____ this. Never mind. I can't get my thoughts straight. SKIP TO BEYOND THE GREEN SECTION.

This is the next green part. Carry on.

CJ7 was disappointing. I didn't get the ending at all. I mean what, all of a sudden a thousand and one CJ7s come to replace the dead one? What's that supposed to mean, true friendship can be replaced? Bad morals, Stephen Chow. Bad morals.

Ah well.

I really should be doing my homework now so I guess I'd better go.

i'm not there yet
G.
Sagittarius.
Singaporean.
MGS'01-'10
1.1, 2.2, 3.5, 4.3, 5.5, 6.2, 1G, 2G, 3G, 4G
MGS Drama Society Society of Dramatic Arts '07-'10.
ACS(I) 5.12'11 - 6.12'12.
ACSIS '11-'12.
!nk '11-'12
I write because I can't break the habit.

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Updated 7/1/11

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